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Collection Of World wide Viruses
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.
Madonna virus: If your computer gets this virus, lock up your dog!
Mario Cuomo virus: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.
Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.
New World Order virus: probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.
Nike virus: Just Does It!
PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism".
Ross Perot virus: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits.Added on 2 Jun '10 | Posted by Zeenat Khan Is Windows a Virus?
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.
2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.
3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.
4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that, too.
5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup, Windows does that, too.
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.
So Windows is not a virus.
It's a bug.Added on 8 Jun '10 | Posted by Iqbal Ali The most stupid questions
People usuly ask in d most
obvious situation n ansrz
you cn probably give:
1-At movies: Hey ! Wat r u doin here?
Ans:Don't know??
I sell tickets in black ovr here..
2-In Bus:A heavy lady wearing pointd
high heeld shoes on ur feet:Sorry
did that hrt u??
Ans:No,not at all !! I'm on local anaesthesia..
why dont u try again?
3-when u get woken up at midnight by a phone
call:Sorry!were u slepin??
Ans:No! I ws doin reserch on weather zulu tribes
in africa marry or not...u thot i was slepin??you
dumb witted moron..!!
4-when u c frnd with evedently shorter hair: Hey
Hav u had a haircut?
Ans:Naaah !!
Its automn n m shedin...!!!Added on 15 Jun '10 | Posted by Ravnish Shinde A Sardar died 'n went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on €arth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
Sardar thought for a few minutes & answered:
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today & Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said: "OK, I'll buy the Today & Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year? The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc.." Saint Peter lets him in without another word..! Added on 23 Nov '10 | Posted by Pratik Bhatt The most stupid ques ppl usually ask in obvious situations.
1. At movies : hey! Wat r u doin here?? Ans : Dont u know??? I sell tickets in black over hre
2. In bus:A heavy lady wearin pointed high heeled shoes steps on your feet:sorry did that hurt? Ans:No, not at all. I'm on local anaesthesia. Why dont you try again?
3. At funeral: One of the teary eyed ppl ask:Why??? Why him of all ppl? Ans: why? Would it rather have been you??
4. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call : sorry! Were you sleepin? Ans: No! I was doing a research on whether zulu tribes in africa marry or not. You thought i was sleepin? You dumb witted moron
5. When you see a friend with an evidently shorter hair : hey! Have you had a haircut? Ans: nah! Its autumn n m sheddin !! Added on 22 Nov '10 | Posted by Sarthak Sherma There are three engineers in a car:
An electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft’s desktop engineer.
Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road,
And the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred.
The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, "Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it'll work !?"Added on 24 May '10 | Posted by Suryanshu Thakur Tumse mila main kal to, mere dil mein hua ek sound,
Lekin aaj tum mili to kehti ho: Your file not found!
Aisa bhi nahin hai ke, I don’t like your face
Par dil ke Desktop
mein, nahin hai enough disk space
Ghar se nikalti ho tum jab, pehen ke evening gown
Too many requests se, ho jaata hai server
down
Tumhaare liye pyaar ki application
, create main karoonga
Tum usse debug karna.
Wait main karoonga tumhaara intezaar karte karte,
Main so gaya yeh dekho mera connection, time out ho gayaAdded on 23 May '10 | Posted by Pallavi Sheth A boy loved a gal.
He was a true lover. He talked to d gal many times abt his attrction 2wards her, bt she ignored him. One day d boy brought a pen for d gal. He gav her d pen. D gal took dat pen wid her wen she had to giv her xams. But as she started writing, d pen stopd wrkng. She didnt hv another pen. Nobody helpd her nd she finally failed in d xam. She was a gud student otherwise.
Depressed, she ws walkin alone on a road at nyt whn suddnly a truck hit her nd she died.
Wen d boy came 2 knw abt dis, he 2 suicided by jumping frm a mountain. Dat was d end of d 2 lovers.
Moral: xam tym ho to Cello hi lena....!Added on 1 Dec '10 | Posted by Leena Shah
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